YOU’RE NEXT

I love You’re Next. It’s such a good horror movie and it has such a not great at all title. It’s like calling it ‘Coming To Get Ya’ or ‘Look Behind You’ or ‘Gotchya’. You’re Next is about a family that is attacked in their holiday home by a group of men wearing animal masks. It’s a scary time, it’s a fun time, and it gets my whole-hearted ‘You like a movie? It’s a movie you might like’ recommendation.

You’re Next is directed by Adam Wingard who most recently directed Godzilla vs Kong, which is a lot like this film except that the men in animal masks are Godzilla and Australian actress Sharni Vinson is Kong. Sharni Vinson, who is Australian, plays Erin, who is also Australian and is the hero and she’s so good. It is a genuine travesty that Sharni didn’t go from this to becoming a horror movie star. If Wingard gets to make this and then that bad Blair Witch reboot and still get paid with Godzilla vs Kong, Sharni at the very least deserves to be in more than just Blue Crush 2.

The plot is pretty simple – there’s a family reunion at a big secluded holiday home in the woods which is interrupted one night by a trio of masked men who have some murdering to do. While everybody dies, Erin is the only one with any instincts on how to survive. It’s always hard naming characters, but the characters in You’re Next have names like Cripsian and Drake and Felix and Zee and I don’t know about that. A handful of characters are played by other indie horror directors, and it’s hard to know if that counts as a ‘cameo’ or a ‘favour’ because there’s no real way to recognize any of them. But I’m sure if you’re able to recognize the directors of the V/H/S anthology movie then you’ll have a ball spotting them in this movie.

How would I fit into You’re Next? Well, there’s an easy entry point into this movie about a family reunion that goes awry. Erin’s Australian, her and her boyfriend Crispian were probably at some comedy show where they met this Australian comedian and you know how Australians are when they haven’t seen another Australian in a while. We are one, but we are many, and if you meet a random Australian you would probably invite them to your boyfriend’s family’s holiday home for dinner.

IF I WERE IN 'YOU'RE NEXT' I WOULD: SURVIVE AND SWEAR FOR AS LONG AS I LIVE THAT I WILL NEVER ACCEPT ANOTHER DINNER PARTY INVITE