WRONG TURN

It took me such a long time to get to Wrong Turn even though it fits within one of my favourite horror sub-genres: turn-of-the-century slashers starring somebody you might remember from a WB show. I shouldn’t have waited so long because Wrong Turn is great. Eliza Dushku, who before having to face off with a bunch of inbred cannibalistic mountain men in this movie also had to survive multiple series of dealing with Joss Whedon, is absolutely rock solid. And you know what else is great about Wrong Turn? It’s 84 minutes long. Oh my god. What an absolute treat. Put it on right now, you’ve got time.
 
The other thing that Wrong Turn has that I also absolutely love is: endless sequels. There are so many Wrong Turns, you’d think eventually they’d go the right way. There was a remake last year, but before that there were five sequels to this original film. Most of them have pretty generic subtitles like Dead End and Last Resort, but my favourite title would have to be Wrong Turn 4: Bloody Beginnings.

The villains in Wrong Turn are those aforementioned cannibal hillbilly mutants. Their names are Three Finger, Saw Tooth and One Eye. And having not seen the other films in the Wrong Turn series I can only assume they are recurring characters throughout. A quick glance at Wikipedia tells me that Wrong Turn 3: Left For Dead features somebody named Three Toes (Three Fingers’ nephew) (that is how it’s written on Wikipedia, that isn’t me trying to be funny).

Where would I fit into Wrong Turn? Well, the movie features a sequence that I cannot stop thinking about. The characters are lost in the woods being chased by these monster men and to hide they climb up a Fire Tower. The mutant freakos light the tower on fire and to escape they have to climb into the branches of the enormous trees. High above the earth they are scrambling along these oversized tree branches while the creeps keep attacking. The only way I can describe how this scene looks is like a cross between Texas Chainsaw Massacre and Honey, I Shrunk The Kids.
 
So rarely in these sorts of “Here’s an actor who was part of the supporting cast of Buffy and here’s some grisly murders” movies do you get a set piece that is different to everything you’ve seen from this sort of movie before. I loved it, and I would hope that it if I was in Wrong Turn I would get to be a part of it.

IF I WERE IN 'WRONG TURN' I WOULD: SPLAT SO HARD I'D LOOK EVEN WORSE THAN THE MUTANTS