IT FOLLOWS

Normally when I write one of these newsletters there’s a bit of beating around the bush before I get to the part where I write myself into the movie. I’ll talk about how great or bad the movie is. I’ll make a couple of snide comments about somebody or other related to the film and then I’ll get down to brass tacks and say “now this is where I would fit into the movie”. Let’s get that part out of the way up front.
 
I would escape It Follows unscathed. Why?
 
In It Follows the main character Jay finds out that the guy she had sex with has passed on a supernatural entity that will now follow her everywhere. It will always be walking towards her at all times, no matter where she is. If it catches her, it will kill her and then pursue the previous person to have passed it on. And as I survived my teenage years a total virgin don’t even worry about me in this movie. They’re all 19 and are getting offed because they had sex? I’m going to have the chilliest time in It Folllows.

It Follows is an incredible film that is far better than its premise implies. It’s so deeply creepy and wonderfully acted. It is often mentioned in the same breath as other modern horror classics from the 2010s like The Witch, Get Out, The Babadook and Hereditary but without the devoted love for its director. That could be because everybody felt the same way I did when they looked up David Robert Mitchell. Don’t look at the photo on his Wikipedia page. It’s a bummer. It’s a dude in a leather jacket that looks exhausting to talk to. There are other photos of him on the internet that have fewer leather jackets in them, but it’s hard to shake that first impression.

I still have to be in this movie though. So how would I fit into It Follows? I think I know exactly what I was doing at 19 years old and exactly where I would be.

IF I WERE IN 'IT FOLLOWS' I WOULD: LIVE, BUT BE FULL OF REGRETS AND NEVER PROPERLY ENJOY 'THIEF II: THE METAL AGE'