IT
My history with It goes as follows:
It. The Book. I have a copy of the book. I bought it during my Stephen King phase. I still have it. I have not read it. I have read King’s Bag of Bones and Cell and Lisey’s Story and The Girl Who Loved Tom Gordon, but not It. I think that this piece of information goes a long way to telling you a lot of what you need to know about me as a person. King’s biggest hit and most popular novel? Nah, I’ve got to read Duma Key.
It. The Tim Curry as Pennywise It. In my early twenties my housemate and I went on a big horror movie binge. All the Fridays, and the Halloweens, and the Pumpkinheads, and the Basket Cases, and the whatnots. We rented It, which came on a double-sided DVD because it's actually a two part mini-series. One side was the first half, when they’re kids. And the other side was the second half, when they’re adults. We did not realise that what we'd started watching was the second half. Later, when people would talk about It and say "how scary's the sewer bit with Pennywise and the 'Hiya Georgie!'?" we'd stare blankly because the It we saw was only about a group of adults returning to the town of Derry twenty-seven years after some, never-explained, horrible event.
We never went back and watched the first half.
It. The Films. Chapter One and Chapter Two. I haven’t watched Chapter Two yet because it’s three hours long and I’ve yet to muster up the energy for that running time. You can watch two and a half Paranormal Activities in the time it takes you to watch one It 2.
I mean, technically, I have seen both halves of It, but from two different versions.
How scary do we find clowns? I don’t find clowns that scary but they are undeniably off-putting in all their forms. From horror villain to French clown school graduate clowns seem designed to upset us. Whether they’re haunting the sewer systems under your hometown or prompting an audience member with only a facial expression to step forward and pour milk on them, it is certainly clear that clowns are bad.
What if I were in It?
And before we figure out how I’d be in It, what if I were in Garden State talking to Natalie Portman’s character about me being in the movie It.
“You’re in It right now, aren’t you?”
“What do you mean?”
“My mum always says that when she can see I’m like, working something out in my head, she says ‘you’re in It right now’. And I’m looking at you and you’re telling me this story and you’re definitely in It right now.”
“I think you’re right, I am in It.”
So, what if I were in It?
I remember as kids we used to love playing in storm drains. Which, the older I get, only feels more and more insane. We would climb down into storm drains and just crawl about for a while.
That’s why I think that there should be a post-credits scene added to It Chapter Onewhere after terrorizing Derry in 1988, a couple of years later Pennywise pops over to the Western Suburbs of Sydney to meet a 7-year-old Peter Jones.
IF I WERE IN 'IT' I WOULD: SURVIVE AND NOT HAVE TO WATCH 'WINNIE THE POOH'
