THE FOG
What’s scarier than a cloud that’s lower than you want it to be? Nothing. Fog is the scariest thing in the world. Smog is pretty scary but not as scary as fog, because we have an idea where smog comes from; but fog? Where’s that coming from? Where’s that been? What’s it doing here? Now, I know what you’re thinking – mist. Mist? You serious? Mist isn’t scary at all. Mist is delightful. Who wouldn’t love to spend some time in mist. Haze? Who are these haze-heads walking around talking about how scary haze is? Nobody, that’s who. Now that you’re saying “Vog” to me, I’m realizing that Vog is pretty scary – it’s volcanic smog. And we could make a move called The Vog but it doesn’t really sound right, so that’s why I’m going to circle back to The Fog.
And that’s my little one paragraph play about how I imagine John Carpenter and his producing/writing partner Debra Hill brainstormed The Fog.
John Carpenter has gotten a couple of mentions before in these pages with his killer cars and his killer things. It seems very much up his alley for him to make a movie about a killer fog. The Fog’s great fun. It stars two generations of “Scream Queens” in Jamie Lee Curtis and Psycho’s Janet Leigh alongside Adrienne Barbeau who plays a radio host named Stevie Wayne. Stevie works at KAB Radio, whose studio is in an old lighthouse.
The fog itself isn’t deadly, it’s what the fog brings with it as it drifts across the ocean to the seaside town of Antonio Bay that’s scary. The fog hides the ghosts of fallen sailors who are out to take revenge on the townsfolk whose ancestors sunk their vessel long ago.
Enough yapping about ghost pirates – how would I fit into The Fog? Well, a young Peter Jones did a bunch of intern work at various radio stations. I didn’t get asked to do a lot, but I did get asked multiple times to pretend to be the person calling in to win the promo. “Hey, it’s Tom from Chatswood, I reckon the secret sound is a seat belt clicking” I got to say over the phone to the crew pre-recording the weekend breakfast show on a Thursday afternoon. And that was the exact moment I started to doubt everything I’d ever believed about the world.
So yeah, I reckon if I was in The Fog I’d pop by the KAB Radio 1340 studio to lend a helping hand.
IF I WERE IN ‘THE FOG’ I WOULD: GET FOGGED
