ONE MISSED CALL
Here’s how you can tell that One Missed Call is a remake of a Japanese horror movie. It came out in the 00s and the premise of the film is that people are receiving voicemails where they hear their last moments on earth. May as well make a movie about a cursed pager that sends an alert an hour before you die. Call it The Beep base it on a J-horror film called Bīpu and release it in 2005 and make one hundred million dollars.
Sadly for the folks trying to make a fortune off the back of One Missed Call, it was a huge flop for a couple of reasons. The first being that it arrived too late for the J-Remake movement. Audiences were done with that trend by 2006. This movie came out in 2008. It was all about found footage by that point. Sorry. The second problem is that One Missed Call is a terrible film that everybody hated, and it’s hard to make money when the product you’re selling sucks.
This film received a rock solid 0% rating on Rotten Tomatoes. But, how do we feel about Rotten Tomatoes? It’s a pretty stupid website, that drains film criticism of any kind of nuance and assigns films with a grade as if every movie is a test that the filmmakers need to pass. Have a look at some of the ‘publications’ that get lumped together by Rotten Tomatoes to form a consensus opinion. 'Jam! Movies'? 'Boxoffice Magazine'? You can’t just take fake publications from a GTA game and pretend they’re real.
There is one quote about One Missed Call on Rotten Tomatoes I would like to highlight though. It’s from Larry Ratliff of the 'San Antonio Express-News' who writes “Introducing the diePhone”. Righto. And that guy didn’t like the movie? Damn. Maybe One Missed Call is alright after all.
Where would I fit in though? The whole film is people receiving phone messages of the moment of their death. I also would not answer a phone call and let it go to voicemail so there’s no reason to think that I too couldn’t receive one of these creepy ass phone calls.
IF I WERE IN 'ONE MISSED CALL' I WOULD: BLEED TO DEATH AND NEVER FIND OUT WHAT HAPPENS TO THAT GOOFY OLD JOHN DU PONT AND HIS HILARIOUS PLAN TO TRAIN OLYMPIC WRESTLERS ON HIS PERSONAL ESTATE
